I asked a dear friend of mine to write about her own struggles with ‘feeling beautiful.’ I hope you find her entry inspiring…

Truth versus feelings

Susan AdamsOctober 1, 2007

I just celebrated my 29^th birthday. It was a great day. Well, more like a great week. I’m a firm believer in stretching out birthday

celebrations as long as possible! A few parties, a few free meals…and a pedicure and manicure, of course!

After the celebrations were over, the remnants still lingered – a “Happy Birthday!” banner hanging in my dining room, leftover cake and some hilarious birthday cards sitting on my entertainment center (and beautiful fingers and toes, I might add J). I began mulling over the past year, recalling the ups and downs and all the ways I had changed and still other things I would like to see transformed in my life in the coming year. Amidst my pondering, I realized no one had asked me the age old question, “Do you feel older today?” That question always makes me laugh. As if I would wake up one day and suddenly have aches and pains and wrinkles and gray hair that were not there when I went to bed the night before. I know those who ask the question do so in jest, but I never know how to answer it. “No, I don’t feel any older….why, do I look older?”

I also think it is a little humorous simply because it does not matter how I feel. Despite my every effort to maintain a youthful appearance and remain young at heart, I AM older! Age is not something I can magically turn off. Against my will, I must succumb to the truth of the matter – each and every birthday, I am another year older. No matter how I feel. No matter how I look. No matter how old others may guess I am by looking at me. With each passing year, my age increases.

As I continued contemplating, I began thinking that, as a Christian, everything in life must be recognized in the same way.

Meaning, despite our feelings, truth is truth. It is something we cannot change. The Truth contained in God’s Word is something that cannot be altered. Too often, I allow my feelings to create my own “truth,” rather than lining up my feelings behind the everlasting Truth.

A few days before my birthday, I was working with four-year-olds at my church. Their verse for the week was, “He made everything beautiful,” Ecclesiastes 3:11. Such a simple truth and one I wanted so badly to get through their little heads into their little hearts so they would never be affected by this culture and the lies about the world’s version of beauty. We were studying creation that week, and I just wanted these little ones to know that they are beautiful, simply because God made them.

Why is it, I wondered, that I look at these children and see nothing but beauty, but when I look in the mirror most days I focus on all the things I wish were different about me. It’s not even the mirror only; at times it’s my inner beauty I feel needs so much work. I continually find things in my personality, gifts and skills I wish were different.

I realized that when I look at these precious little ones, my view of them and the beauty God has created in them is miniscule to how God views me. I absolutely love their little personalities and quirks. They are all developing differently, and it’s such a joy to watch and listen.

Even on their worst days, their beauty never changes in my eyes.

These children are not even related to me personally in any way. I do not have any nieces or nephews or children of my own, and I cannot imagine how immense my love for them will be and how unhindered my view of their beauty.

These are truths. The Truth of God’s Word is that He views me as beautiful, because I am a creation of His. He knit me together in my mother’s womb. He crafted me. I am His handiwork. Therefore, my view of myself needs to be unhindered. I must not allow the lies and deception present in this day and age to affect the Truth I know.

Do I feel another year older? No, not really, but I am definitely okay accepting the truth of the matter. My birth date will never change. I do not plan on ever fighting that fact. Do I feel unattractive at times? Too big, too tall, too boisterous, too outgoing…..you name it, and I’ve probably felt it. But, I am beginning to accept the Truth of the matter.

Psalm 139:13-18

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;

Ecclesiastes 3:11a

11 He has made everything beautiful in its time.